Colt 45

Who have not seen the advertisement of Colt 45 showing a masculine man behaving like a stereotypical homosexual or metrosexual? We all do, right? So, what is your impression on the said ad? Did you feel entertained, indifferent, or pissed off? I thought it is kind of cool, nothing to be bothered. But not to CK.

CK is a new acquaintance. A common friend introduced us when we attended a birthday party last year. My first impression was he is “flamboyant”, not only with clothes but also with his behavior. Being an aloof person as I am, I really did not interact with him. It is not that I do not like flamboyant gays, I just don’t know how to interact with them. With them, I would just content myself sitting in a corner, observe them, listen, and maybe join in the laughter if there is something to laugh at. From that first meeting, CK has become a regular visitor to our place, which of course is a welcome to us.

The last time CK visited us was during a birthday party of a housemate. We were sitting watching television when we saw the Colt 45 ad. I like it. I would even halt whatever I am doing just to watch it, and as a bonus, they would play another version. From the seat, CK exclaimed his protest. He was vehemently remonstrating how irresponsible the advertisers are. He said that they should not show such setting because it would build a stereotype or stereotyped a homosexual. I felt his concern but as a devil’s advocate, I told him my own personal view.

I see the ad differently. Although it could indeed be stereotypical insinuations of gay behavioral patterns or mannerisms, I could still see it as a positive campaign for the gay society. I told CK that it could be a drive to build awareness how society view gays, that how prejudicial people can be, and how Filipino males preserve the “macho mentality”. On the other hand, the ad is not that proactive. It should have presented something like how to ease or eliminate the stereotype. The ad should not have ended with the bottle hitting the “questionable” character suggesting that his behavior is unmanly.

CK did not oppose my own view. Perhaps he understood or just maybe the alcohol in his system did not help much in digesting what I have said, or he just want to avoid a confrontation with me. Perhaps a discussion could have ensued if there were other guests have viewed the advertisements with us. That could be a great exchange of ideas. Nevertheless, I feel the sentiment against the ad and I respect that.

I admire CK’s passion on what he believes. I may not an ardent advocate of gay’s rights but I still like to see everyone to belong in one society that is a collective of human beings and not by straights, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, trans genders, and other sexual labels people put themselves into. I may be a skeptic of the movement but I never debase the gay subculture by claiming myself a friend or a supporter but when get pissed-off by one member I could call him a faggot, a queer, a queen, and other insulting names.

Advertisements are excellent in providing mass information. With sensitive and responsible advertising, it could gradually change people’s behavior and perception of things and other people. Hopefully, advertisers could think out of means how to positively change attitude towards the mutual respect for all people and not to divide and stratify further the social structure. While media have their influence en masse, I guess as individuals, we could bring out our share on how to minimize if not eliminate the prejudice and discrimination we have on our fellow human being. Maybe, let us start by not calling others names.

Interlude: Misunderstanding

“Is it true that there is a misunderstanding among bloggers?” Instead of a hi or hello, this is the greeting I received from a blogger friend who have surfaced after a long hiatus from blogging. I thought he was referring to the “originals” so I told him that there is none that I know of. I asked him where he got that information. He just told me that he has his own source. He immediately excused himself and said that he would be back.

He is doing it again, I thought. Make a sudden appearance then disappear again. I continued to send him messages. “So, you surface because you are more interested when there is trouble in the blog or among bloggers.” There was silence. “Hey, talk to me.” There was no reply.

While he was gone, I skim through some blog issues I have read in the past to identify what misunderstanding might he referring to. Then I recalled a raucous series of blog entries from a clique of bloggers that ended up to an issue and intrigue. For a while, the blog world feast on the exchange of words and stories between parties. Bloggers had a short and quick glance inside the clique.

“Ahhh. I guess what your source is referring to is this exclusive group of discreet and masculine PLU bloggers because for a while there was an intrigue within their clique.” I told the previous blogger when he returned to our chat. I did not hear/read his agreement, instead he cited two bloggers in particular. “Them? There was a misunderstanding indeed but I think it was all forgotten already.” He just said “ok”, and then asked further about the “clique”.

As I am enumerating to him what I knew of the clique, in my mind, I was also evaluating and relating his case to some clique members who were banished or ignore by the senior members because of non-conformity. Did we do the same to him? Did we ignore him because he was not able to meet the “rules’ of the group? Did we cause his leave of absence from the blog world, from the group?

This previous blogger just left. We did not force him to leave. We did not evict him. When he disappeared, we thought he did that voluntarily. It is his choice that needs respected. What made him leave is an issue he alone should resolve for we did the best in our own ways. He may have thought that he did something not right, causing his flight. Indeed it may be true. But we never put or established rules inside the group. I thought rules are not needed because the people inside the group are matured enough to evaluate their own actions. We may have our own personality glitches but that is part of our definition. As much as possible we tried to respect each other’s character. Perhaps some members would try to affect another yet we still have freedom to choose. He left and we let him. He may like to return and he is still welcome.


“When are you going to blog again?” I asked the previous blogger. “I wanted to blog but I still don’t have the drive.” He replied. I joked that I would give him the wheel to drive. There was no response. I could only just imagine him shrugging his shoulder.

No Effems Please

“Puwede bang maging successful ang relasyon ng dalawang top?” For several times, I hear and read this question from blogs, forums, and conversations. I could easily answer that if I give my own qualification of what a successful relationship is. However, I believe that once an answer is finally given, another question would come up. How about relationships among two bottoms?

I know that our relationship is reaching its tenth year. If I am to define successful in number of years, specifically 10 years, then I think we have nine months short of the magic number, but it is too relative. Success doesn’t always mean the number of years being together. In contrary, it could even mean quality, not quantity. Hence, success could always be in the mind.

Going back to the question, I think the most interesting element is not the “successful” thing but the two similar roles. We always have the idea that similar poles repel while the opposites attract. So, how could two tops or two bottoms end up attracting each other and develop a relationship? It is against physical law.

In 2006, the time when I expanded my horizon with the homosexual subculture by joining popular online communities and creating a blog catering to homosexuals, there was already a preference with the discrete. These are masculine acting, speaking, and looking homosexuals. There was also a new euphemism to refer to this group. This word is a departure from the society definition of homosexual that is effeminate. This term is PLU or “People Like Us”.

After four years, the homosexual community where I am interacting with has become more discriminating against the effeminates evident in their preferences expressed either verbally or through their online profiles and messages. NO EFFEMS PLEASE. In this connection, the market for the effeminate homosexuals is diminishing in contrast with the demand for the masculine homosexuals.

Masculinity does not spell the sexual role of being top always, and similarly with the effeminate being a bottom. Hence, any pairing may exist and may be successful. However, how could an effeminate gets a chance to enter into a relationship if he is discriminated from the start? A masculine or worse a likewise effeminate can even dump another effeminate once discovered while in a relationship. Harsh but this is a reality that is highly possible.

The chance of survival for the effeminate homosexuals living in this kind of social dynamics is bleak. Unless the effeminates adapt to the changes by redefining themselves and shift to the side of their masculinity, they would surely be at the bottom of the food chain. Given the trend, an interesting question needs attention, are the effeminate homosexuals going to extinction?

I am not prophesying the doom of the effeminates rather I am offering a scenario that could possibly happen because of the discrimination or non-preference of the effeminate homosexuals. Although I know for a fact that attraction or relationship does not have a specific formula, like top-bottom or masculine-effeminate, the initial impression between homosexuals dictates mostly their behavioral patterns on each other. This impression that is mostly and probably bias, could destroy the possibility of a good relationship. Eliminating the bias is the best solution but everything changes. Adapting to the change or the shift may not prove harmful. Perhaps, the emergence of the PLU phenomenon is an evolution towards the shift.

This is My Body 2010

“Tumaba ako! Marami na ang sasaya lalo na iyung mga inggitero.” Iyan ang tweet ko. Hehehe. Wala lang, pang-curious lang sa mga nagfo-follow sa akin sa tweeter para tingnan nila kung totoo nga bang tumaba ako. Kunsabagay, totoo nga iyan, nadagdagan na kasi ang aking timbang eh. At sabi ni HB tumaba na din daw ako. O siya, i-click na ang Read more … para mahusgahan na.



Ayan, nag-gain ako ng 4lbs. Pero paano mo naman saabihin na tumaba ako niyan eh kaya kong tanggalin ang 4lbs. sa isang araw. Kakain lang ako ng heavy breakfast niyan tapos puro fruits na lang at oatmeal the rest of the day, at sabayan pa ng badminton at gym. Baka nga hindi lang 4lbs mawawala sa akin eh. Kaya wala pa ring epekto ang 4lbs sa aking katawan.

Pasensiya na lang sa mga umaasang makitaan ako ng gulong sa tagiliran, hindi pa nasasapanahon na ako ay tataba. Sa mga detractors ko, huwag na lang kayo mag-isip ng masama sa akin kasi wala naman akong ginagawa sa inyo. Mas mabuti na gawin ninyo, kaibiganin ninyo ako at tutulungan ko kayo magkaroon ng ganitong katawan o baka mas higit pa dito. Mabait naman ako eh. Hehehe.

Nasaan ang ulo? Ay sus mang guid. Naghanap na naman kayo ng ulo? Di ba sabi ko noon noon pa, “YOU CAN HAVE MY BODY BUT NOT MY HEAD.” Huwag ninyong angkinin ang aking ulo, nandoon ang aking utak. Hehehe.

The Next Big Thing

You already have a boyfriend. You have been together for four years, more or less. You have gone through all the fights and you thought that you are ready for the next big thing. This big next thing you thought would mark the end of your being single and independent-minded individual. However, you thought this is the right time to make that step forward. You surely have doubts but you thought that you would not be alone. Someone would be there with you.

My partner joined me in our apartment as soon as one of our housemates moved out. I am not sure if that was after a month or a year that we have known each other. There was no commitment during that time, at least to me. That was a timely move because our office hired HB. We were six in the apartment, three people in each room. That means I and HB are sharing the room with another roommate. Whether this roommate knew our relationship or not, we did not care. We told all our housemates that we were officemates.

Our life in the apartment as a partner I must say is pretty normal, just like being best friends. There is no definition of roles like who should be the man or the woman. We do not assign who should keep our money. We keep our own and we share our expenses equally. We do not assign household chores. HB who likes to cook is the one in charge of grocery and food. I on the other hand, who is very conscious of cleanliness, take charge of cleaning the house and washing the dishes. In short, we define our roles depending on or existing habits and practices, and by what we like to do.

Our display of affection is inconspicuous to the eyes of our housemates. Being the non-sweet of the two, it is not difficult to hide whatever giveaways a romantic relationship could project. HB likewise tried to mimic me. It was difficult for him because he is the sweet type but he managed anyway. Thus, our physical display is more of jabs, hooks, and kicks.

Verbal arguments from our own differences never lasted between us. We could exchange harsh words on each other but it is only good during the moment of argument. We just sleep it off and the next day, we are already okay. We maintain the atmosphere of respect to our own characters or persons.

Nine years we have lived this way. We thought we have also evolved depending on the circumstances that we are facing. I could not say that this is a perfect living arrangements but we are managing our days individually. We do not expect too much from each other. We just live the days one day at a time.

There are no defined prerequisites before the next big thing. The only thing to be reminded with is the consciousness that you would be living with a different person with different background, different set of values, and entirely different character. One must acknowledge one’s uniqueness and be willing to face the fact that you could not always make the life you wanted to be. Always remember that in a partnership, it would take sacrifices and compromises to make it work. It is not only a matter of the heart, it needs a mind.

Dialogue: The Choice

“Ikaw ang type ni Cris.” HB told me. I looked at him with a poker face and uttered my favorite “Huh?” “Ikaw ang type ni Cris. Sorry na lang si Luke.” He repeated the statement. It still did not excite me so I just asked, “Why?” “I did not ask for details.” He replied. I tried to process what I just heard. He likes me. My ego smiled.

I am sorry for Cris. I already have chosen someone. ;)