You pull your mom in one corner and tell her in a very serious tone of your voice, “Mom, I am straight.” Your mom would put a smile on her face and tell you, “My son, you do not need to tell me that. Of course, I know you are straight.” The end. Rewind. You pull your mom in one corner and tell her in a very serious tone of your voice, “Mom, I am gay.” Your mom would put a smile on her face and tell you, “My son, you do not need to tell me that. Of course, I know you are gay.” The end. There is really no difference, right?
Until now, I have not admitted or told anyone that I am sexually attracted to the same sex, not my parents, not my friends, and not even to those who have learned my sexual behavior.
When I introduce HB to my parents, I did not say, “Ma, Pa, I am gay. This is HB, my partner.” Rather, I introduce HB, “This is HB, my roommate and workmate.” Did I lie? No. Did my parents read between the lines? Probably not, but that is immaterial. The point is, I introduced someone to my parents and that they would have thought that that person is important to me..
My friends did not hear me saying, “I am gay”, and I think what they have heard me saying, “Lalake ako”, without batting an eyelash. Did I lie? No. My answer is a matter of fact. I dress like a man, talk like a man, act like a man, and think like a man. If they have asked, “Are you attracted to a man?” or “Have you had sex with a man?”, probably I would say yes. But they did not ask.
Did HB ever hear me saying “Bakla ako”? Asked him and he would say NO. I have not admitted it, not even when I kiss HB and he would tell me jokingly, “Bading ka ba? Bakit mo ako hinahalikan?” “Putcha, hindi ako bakla. Bakla lang ba ang nanghahalik sa kapwa lalake?” I would retort. Did I lie? No. Even when I touch his dick and call me “bading” I would still not admit that I am.
I am not saying that I am not a homosexual. I am, of course, when I am engaging sex with another man. However, I am not homosexual a hundred percent of the time and as such, I would not consider my total being as homosexual. I am still a man, a human being.
Homosexual vis-a-vis Heterosexual. Why are we making such a big issue of a behavior that does not even spell an entire individual, person, or character? Do we really need to qualify ourselves as either of which just to dignify the bigotry of our culture?
Being a homosexual is not a condition that needs attention and consequently needs a remedy. It is not a disease needing revelation. It is not a crime needing reparation. Homosexuality is sexual attraction with the same sex, just like heterosexuality, which is sexual attraction to the opposite sex. It is just like that. It is a behavior between consenting partners irregardless of sex, religion, age, race, and culture. It is a natural and amoral behavior serving no cultural norms.
Next time you would be thinking of declaring your homosexuality. Think twice, because you are just justifying it as an aberration, a disease, or a crime. Respect what and who you are and you will get it in return.
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