At Least Once

“Gusto ko lumabas sa isang pelikula.” My roommate told me once. “Talaga? Sige gagawa ako ng indie film. Ikaw ang artista.” I jokingly replied. “Sige. Kahit anong role basta wala lang subuan.” I laughed very hard at his statement. He seemed very serious about the idea and I could even see that on his face. “Gusto mo ipakilala kita sa kaibigan kong director?” I suggested.

I am serious too. I have a “friend” who makes indie films. His name is Remus (Nude Photography 101 series). He was a creative photographer when I first met him, but these days he is becoming a successful indie film director. In fact, he has already received some international awards considering that he was just a film student the last time we met. I told him that he would become a good filmmaker someday. I predicted right. Lucky bastard. 

Remus texted me to get my photoset from the two photo shoots we made. We met at the Araneta Center and ate first before proceeding to his place. I was not expecting this because I thought he would just hand me the photoset at the meeting place. Knowing that we would be going to his apartment, I ready myself to all possibilities.

The place is not an apartment. It is a three-storey house. He has his own entrance to the house. When we entered his room, I immediately conclude that a true artist owns it. I could also see a vast collection of dvds and a personal computer. His bedroom looks like his working area also.

Remus asked me what I would like to drink. I told him that bottled water would do. He returned with what I am asking. A residence with a 200ml bottled water? That is a surprise.

I sat on a low-rise stool at the center of his room, while he on the computer chair. We continued updating each other. He asked me if I am still with HB and I said yes. He then suggested if he could shoot the both of us. I told him I would have to ask HB first. He said that he has an idea of his new project and that HB and I can pose as twins. The project is still nude.

There was still a formal air in our conversation and I think Remus felt it too. I guess this is because of what happened in our last photo session. The truth is I still have this weird feeling that he would attempt doing it again. My guess is turning right.

“Have you tried watching Asian blue film?” Remus asked me. “No.” I lied. Remus stood and went to a stack of dvds inside a box. He picked up one and inserted it on his computer. I sat there watching his every move. The video played.

There was a lad taking a bath. He was lathering his body. The camera caressed his slim and lithe body, following wherever the soap is moving. When the lad’s hand reached his cock, he stroked it gently until it gets hard. The lad was in ecstasy, moaning. The camera then shifted its focus outside of the house. There was another lad with knees bent trying to peek through a hole. Panning the camera down, I could see the voyeur’s hand pulling his own cock up and down.

A new sequence cuts in. It was an oral sex scene of the two lads previously shown. The voyeur is sucking the bather’s cock. The cock is long but thin and the voyeur is trying to suck the cock all in. I could see the bather’s face in a state of ecstasy, and I am having a hard on too. I shifted my dick inside my jeans. It was in an upright position already and I could feel its head against my abdominals. Suddenly, I could feel hands on my shoulder blades.

Remus was gently massaging my traps. He was good at it so I let him do what he was doing. I just continued watching. The scene on the monitor continued to sizzle. There were already three men alternately sucking each other. The two lads were joined by a matured muscled guy. They were worshipping the body of the latter. I thought I could get my rocks off right this minute.

My legs were getting cramps so I stretched them out. My body followed the stretch and I was glad that Remus is at my back preventing me from falling. Unfortunately, the movement lifted my shirt up exposing the head of my cock. I am sure Remus saw it. I returned to my position.

How long could I refuse myself from opening my zip, take out my cock, and jerk it? How long Remus could fight the temptation and give me a blowjob? The answer did not take long when I felt a long and hard shaft grinding at my back. It was Remus cock. Yeah, he is horny as hell but I am not comfortable in what he is doing. I noticed that Remus is shifting on my side. He did the grinding of his cock again on my face. That was a turn-off. I grunted my disapproval.

Mistaking the sound as a moan, Remus began to hold his hard-on from his shorts and rub it on my face. It really starts to piss me off. However, since I am in his home I could not be disrespectful to him. I need to put on some courtesy and reject his way of advances politely. I looked at him, smiled a little, and said, “Ayoko.”

I have turned him down once on the night of the shoot in the presence of a third person. He thought possibly that the situation inside the privacy of his room would turn to his favor. Unfortunately, it did not. The single pronouncement of refusal prevented him from pursuing his intention.

“Salbahe mo. Dalawang beses mo na ako tinurn down ah.” He said. “Kunsabagay, di naman kita puwedeng pilitin. Lasingin na lang kita next time.” He laughed. That was a relief. I thought the event could turn sour. He turned the porn off and looked at me again. “Ipakita ko na lang iyung ginawa kong short film sa iyo.” He said.

He enrolled in a film course in UP. I asked him what he would do about his photography. He said that film and photography complements each other. He just wanted to get to a higher level about his art. I believed him. Remus is a very ambitious guy. He told me once that he was seeking a photography scholarship in Europe. I guess he was not able to get it so he turns to film instead. After showing me his short film, I praised it and told him that he would go far of his dream.

Before I left his house, Remus handed me my photoset card. He told me that the offer with HB still holds. I thanked him in return and shook his hand. I feel that the handshake is an affirmation of mutual respect.

People have desires, wishes, or dreams. Some do come true and others do not. However, failure or rejection should not prevent us from pursuing the dream. If we must fail, then we must move on. We might not be successful in a particular one, but we could always look for other dreams. Our reality provides a variety of options and we are lucky that we could always choose one, and then another one.

My roommate is an engineer but it does not mean that he could not venture into the performing arts. It is just a matter of rediscovering ourselves and we could always do anything, at least even once.